Quote:
Originally posted by Bamboozled
I thank you all for your insightful repsonses. It feels so good to know I'm not alone. Like I said, I had never be asked that type of question in such an environment, so it just really bothered me. It's sort of like a rapist asking a rape victim how she feels about rape.
I agree about keeping your work life separate from your private life. I almost never go to lunch/dinner/cocktail hours with my co-workers. That's why this time, I kind of had to. We were celebrating the completion of a project and they tried to accomodate me by going somewhere on my side of town. Believe me, if I could have come up with a good excuse quick enough, I wouldn't have gone.
When I first started working here, I was accused of being anti-social because I declined an invitation to go to lunch EVERYDAY with a group of girls who do just that. They sit around and gossip and talk about what was on TV last night. That's just not my forte. Another co-worker asks me almost everyday to join him for lunch. He told me today he was going to ask me everyday until I said yes. I told him, "Don't do that. When I want to go, I'll let you know." Like Soror Ideal said, I'm not here to make friends. We most likely wouldn't be friends if we didn't work together, so why try to force it because we do? Honestly, I just want to be left alone to do what I'm here to do. I don't invite you to any of my private functions, so please don't feel obligated to invite me.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate my co-workers. I actually kind of like some of them. It's just that I don't want to reveal that private part of myself. I mean damn, can I keep something for myself? I actually enjoy attending the Christmas party and other functions throughout the year that foster better working relationships. I enjoy getting to talk to people and see them outside of the work environment. Isn't that enough?
Have any of you read the book Shifting (thanks Soror lovelyivy)? The authors kind of touch on this subject.
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I have
Shifting, thanks to Soror LI84,
which is co-written by a college friend of mine, Charisse Jones. I have got to start it, but I've read previews. The book that I referenced from Veronica Chambers also deals with some of that.
There's nothing wrong with keeping some privacy. I had to learn to do that myself.