Quote:
Originally posted by ZTAngel
You're absolutely right in that if you marry someone that they are now you're new family and that your husband/wife should be your first priority. But, I wouldn't exactly call your parents your second priority. They're still extremely important although you obviously have a different relationship with your parents than you do with your spouse.  Maybe I think that way because I come from a very close-knit family (I suspect you do, too).
Maybe the reason she's not calling you isn't because she still thinks she's right. Maybe it's because she's afraid of how you'll react to her. She's obviously already hurting. If she calls you and you completely blow her off, she'll feel twice as hurt. You came out your argument as the angrier one so I'm guessing she's hoping you'll cool off and then maybe call her.
I doubt that she'll tell you that she will never listen to her mother again. If she does tell you that, she's lying.  What if you all compromised on something?
What if you made a deal that if she says something to the effect of, "Well, my mother thinks that I should blah, blah, blah" that you will call her out on it and she has to stop right then? If she says, "My mom feels this way". Say to her, "How do you feel?" The answer could be different.
I know I PMed you about this. Many women tend to have a very close relationship with their mothers. Unfortunately, a lot of girls take their mom's advice as the gospel word. She just needs to learn how to trust her own instincts rather than her mother's. Obviously, things were working out fine before her mom decided to throw in her 2 cents.
I can tell you still love her a lot. You wouldn't have come on here asking for advice about what to do if you weren't really considering calling her and getting back together. And, I have to admit, I'm biased in that I hope you guys get back together since she's my chapter sister and I hope she ends up happy. At the same time, you need to ask yourself if you really think you can find someone else that has made you as happy as she has or if you could see yourself in another relationship and not compare your new girlfriend to Miss Cashmoney.
But, if you really think there is no way things will work out and that she will just keep on listening to her mother, don't get back together with her. Just make sure the decision you make is made in a thought out process rather than out of anger for what she did.
ETA:
You probably shouldn't have called her mom a selfish, unhappy bitch.
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Nic, you're amazing. Thanks for the advice.
I think you're right in more ways than you know. My thing is when someone really close to me, like her, breaks the trust factor.....thats it. Most of the time they don't get it back. And if they do get my trust back, it's really hard if not impossible. Thats why i don't think things could ever be right between her mother and I. I know she talks shit behind my back all the time but then is nice to me to my face. Imagine if we had kids, which she totally wanted really soon, and think of the kind of situation that would leave me in when it'd be time for them to go see/stay with her mother. I wouldn't want my kids being around a grandmother who talks bad about their father and thinks he isnt good enough for her daughter. The woman would fuck me over in a heartbeat. How could anyone have a mother-in-law like that and be expected to act like everything was fine or should live with it? Would any of you? Maybe I'm just overreacting, I was in 2 car accidents in a week after all this happened. I might be a little stressed out right now...but still, do you think I have valid reasons for being the way I am as far as dealing with this?