Quote:
Originally posted by AKA_Monet
Sweetheart--
This time in your life is going to be tough for you... Over time, it will improve to something...
Either way, BOTH of you made the CHOICE to be together...
BOTH of you made the CHOICE to end it...
Your reasons are valid. "Let no one put asunder..."
But her reasons are valid, too...
Allow me to break it down for you:
Both of you are probably too young to really THINK about being married.
For her, she hasn't let go of the "umbilical cord".
For you, Honey, you've got some anger management issues... What you are doing is tryin' to ante up chit on your girl's table--when you OUTTA be goin' skrait up to that Mama and MAKE those statements to her point blank...
Y'all been done had needed some time to think about WHO YOU ARE, WHERE YOU STAND ON THINGS IN LIFE and WHO CAN FIT INTO YOUR REALM OF REALITY!!! It's like y'all SKIPPED the getting-you-to-know-you phase and jumped into the engagement phase... Honey, Marriage is an ADULT SWIM... You be best to know what you want waaayyy before you jump into the deep end with full on freestyles under 1:30 minutes...
Meaning--you both are too immature to handle the nature of a FULLY ADULT maritial relationship--at least with EACH OTHER...
You told your girlfriend that she would have no need to worry about you and call about you if y'all broke up from JUMP??? WTH??? When y'all JUST STARTED DATING??? Honey... That's harsh... Too domineering--too demanding...
Who do you think she is gonna trust more? You? The man she has known for I dunno how long--a year at least? Or her Mother, the woman that had dayum near changed her shitty assed diapers for ALL HER LIFE??? Regardless of WHAT YOU THINK OR SAY, her Mother reigns--trumphs over you ANYTIME, ANYDAY in her reality of thinking...
Making your EX much more immature in her little life to be thinking you and her can fathom the reality of marriage...
Basically, y'all won't have no honeymoon... Y'all won't start off on any good foot--no matter how much money you are willing to pony up... Because, this chicky ain't feelin' hearin' nor heedin' your words over her Mama's... She ain't EVA gonna SURRENDER herself to you... PERIOD... Especially, not now...
Then, what's this "head of household" chit I'm hearing from you? How are gonna dictate WHAT SHE SAYS OR WHAT THE NATURE OF HER RELATIONSHIP IS TO HER FAMILY??? Believe me, you CANNOT be a SOLE PROVIDER into her heart... AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN--YOU EITHER FIT INTO THE GAMEPLAN OR YOU DON'T. THAT IS HER LIFE... RESTRICTING HER COULD ESCALATE INTO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE--AND IT WILL BE YOUR OWN FAULT...
You need a WOMAN... NOT a little GIRL--which she is with this princess fairytale belief of life... Cuz are you REALLY a prince charming on a white horse that will take this girl off into the sunset to live happily ever after??? I don't think so--you are probably a nice, hard working fellow just being a squirrel tryin' to get a nut... Which is cool for most women...
But this girl wants a fairy tale reality that you can't give her... She wants a fairytale her Mama put into her head a LOOOONNNNNGGGG time ago in a galaxy FAR, FAR AWAY... And you will constantly be fighting HERSTORY--rather than living in reality, together...
So, on that note--like all the other folks said... Put her on the DO NOT CALL LIST... BLOCK HER CALLS... DO NOT SPEAK TO HER FRIENDS...
But if homegirl gets the guts to show up at your front door to NOT return the ring, but tries to mend things, you need to take her to get some coffee--a public place, and explain to her under no specific circumstances will you NEVER have your heart broken like you did this FINAL time... She needs to grow up AND she needs to move on... 'Cuz really, you ain't the ONE for her...
And I tell yah, the Mama is chiming in all day long with SATISFACTION!!! Saying chit like "the no good _____". Look like how he is to you??? WTF??? He's a no good _____...
Your EX needs to know that Mama needs to stay out of grown folks biz ness...
I could go ON AND ON... But, if you want to recover from this with more of an insightful knowledge about yourself and move on, then you can PM me if you'd like to ask questions... Your issues deal with the soul and the spirit. Been there, done that and GOT a HUGE, BIG OL FAT T-shirt for all the luser assed relationships I've been in BEFORE I GOT married to the BEST MAN EVER IN MY LIFE!!!
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Damn, you make me feel like I'm some bad person here. I'm the fucking victim. I wasn't being domineering. I wasnt trying to turn her against her mom. Besides, who the fuck are you to tell me I'm too young to be thinking about getting married? I'm almost 25 fucking years old. How old are you? And to set the record straight, I was the one who walked out. She didnt choose to end anything.....I did.
I don't have anger issues. I've tried to talk to her mom. You know what her mom said to her when she found out I tried to get a hold of her to come have a talk with her face to face??? She told her to tell me that she (her mom) was CRAZY and that coming and talking to her wasnt in my best interest.
As far as the get to know you phase, we did that. She knows more about me than my own parents, and my family and I are pretty fucking close. And I wasnt trying to dictate her relationship to her family at all.....thats why I fucking left. Her entire family, including extended, loves me. Its just her mother who doesnt like me. Her dad tells me I'm like his son. And domestic violence?? WTF are you talking aboout? I've never hit a chick in my life, never even came close to it.
And just to add....I'm not trying to recover from this. I don't feel bad about anything. What the hell do you mean by me recover? I know myself, there isnt any insight I need in regards to knowing myself.
