It is always best to just listen. My dad broke up with his girlfriend (who I couldn't stand) and called me to tell me about it. He said that her kids were too messed up and he couldn't see spending the rest of his life bailing them out of messes, so he broke things off. He said to me "You never liked her anyway, did you?". I said the VERY diplomatic thing of "The most important thing to me is that you're happy Dad". Good thing, cuz they've been married for eleven years now! What if I had said "Yeah Dad, she's a real witch and I hated her since the day I met her"?????
Your best bet is to not bad mouth him, listen to her, support her... when she bad mouths him, say things like "Wow, you are really angry with him" or "You are really feeling hurt, aren't you?"
That's my $.02
Dee
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