Quote:
Originally posted by James
adpialumcsuc,
I am also assuming that her brother moving in as a permanent house guest for a year was something the husband hated, no matter how nice a face he put it on.
I wager its also something that he was extremely unhappy about and it created an enormous tension in his mind towards her. Its her brother after all not his.
So out of a two year marriage, she willfully created a situation to make him truly unhappy both with his life and her in general.
The only other thing I would wonder is why they got married. Generally, after that amount of time (6 bloody years) a guy isn't going to marry you becaue he adores you, he is going to marry you to keep from losing you.
Thats a crucial difference, one that works on the male psyche in a way women often don't appreciate.
So if he felt pressured to marry her, as guys often do, and then she sprang that idiocy on him ruining a full 50 percent of the time they were married . . . .
Well its small wonder that he hates her a little and feels resentful.
I do agree in a technical and idealisitc way that he should have left her instead of cheating, people do tend to be weak, and cheating is easier.
Also silly men can be just as reluctant to throw away an 8 year investment of time and familiarity.
It really sounds like their relationship lasted much longer than it should have, It outlived its passion and fell into the kind of comfortable famialirity that is the most many people will ever have to aspire towards.
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Even if her brother was the Devil himself that's not a green light for him to cheat. She didn't "willfully create anything". Life happens and she stepped up to the plate and took care of family.
That's what family should do. I'm sure the living situation wasn't ideal but the brother moved out.
As for the six years that they were together, I'm guessing that the couple in question is either mid to late twenties or early thirties. That means they were either started dating in high school or as freshmen in college. Not many people I know get married during college so as to why he waited so long, it's was probably more timing of getting careers established than just settling per se. As for pressure, he had up until the wedding day to walk away if he didn't feel that he couldn't take it to the next level. Most places of worship require or encourage , some form of pre-wedding counseling,another opportunity for him to speak his mind. I highly doubt that this was a shotgun wedding.
His refusal to see a counselor says alot about his character. He doesn't want to admit that he majorly screwed up. To say that to someone other than immediate family or friends would prove that this is something that flowers and candy can't fix.
And about "his investment of time" he completely disrespected her time and effort in this marriageby committing this act of infidelity.