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Thank you all so much for your prayers and words of encouragement. I was so out of sorts yesterday that I misunderstood the nurse when she was telling me about the ultrasound/amnio. I thought that she said I would be able to do all of that yesterday, but that wasn't the case. We only talked to my doctor about the tests and the results, then about the amnio and the risks associated with it. I will actually have the amnio on Thursday, at 11:30 a.m. (eastern). There is a small risk of miscarriage due to complications from the amnio, but doctor assured me that in twenty years of practice, she has never had that happen. That made me feel a lot better. She also told me that the needle doesn't hurt. I'm sure that is the case, but I can't help but be frightened of a really long needle going into my stomach.
You all will never know how much your prayers mean to me. I have been praying really hard that the baby will be healthy, but then I started questioning whether or not that was the correct prayer. Should I just be praying for God's will to be done? Is it wrong to be selfish and hope that the baby doesn't have Downs? I am so confused. I used to be such a cocky Christian too. I thought that my faith was rock solid, and now I'm scared to death. Being scared is the equivalent of not trusting God to take care of everything in my opinion. Anyway, I'm sorry that I'm rambling. Thank you all again for your prayers. I will keep you updated about the amnio. Unfortunately, we won't have the results for at least two weeks. Two very long weeks ...
L&L,
Ashley
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