Interesting topic and one that my husband and I have discussed at length. We have 2 daughters and 2 sons and we are dismayed at the sexualization of children that seems to have grown more pronounced in the past 5-10 years.
We take a very strict, controlling approach... but our children don't recognize it as such. We homeschool, so while our children have lots of encounters with other children, their exposure to pop culture and peer pressure is limited. To them, wearing jumpers and tights is normal. They don't spend their days surrounded by 7 year old Brittney wannabees.
I tell you what! It is getting harder and harder to find clothing that is appropriate for a little girl. If I go into a shopping mall I often come home empty handed. No hip-huggers for my 4 year old, thank you very much. Is it too much to ask that their shirts cover their tummies? It would be nice to find a pair of shoes that didn't have a chunky, 2 inch heel.
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As long as I think my daughter understands what impact her wardrobe choices have... I think I'd be okay with the choices she makes.
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I wouldn't be okay with her choices if the impact her appearance had was one I don't think she's ready to handle. I'd explain why... I'd listen to her feelings... but I'd still say no.