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I am glad that I came across this, even if I am a little late in the game. I am not the child of a substance abuser, but of a parent with mental illness. My home life was chaotic for as long as I can remember: evictions, hunger, abuse, etc.
Many of the things that you all have written about, the feeling of not belonging, the inability to maintain close relationships--with anyone, all of these ring true for me.
Of course, many in my family also maintain that it is no ones business. And I do fear telling people about it, because in my experience they have judged me for it. I came to a point once where I felt that I could share this part of my life with people. I came to the point where I accepted the fact that this is not my fault--because for a long time I thought that I was somehow responsible. And then I told my then boyfriend about it, and we ended up breaking up after he mentioned it to his mother. So then I was back at square one.
Coping with this is an everyday journey, I am lucky that this experience has made the bond between my siblings and I even stronger--rather than weaker as some have noted.
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