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You really can't get mad at them if your relationship is not clearly defined ahead of time. Although usually girls are better at reading undercurrents than we boys are.
It sounds like you are approaching girls you like romantically in "friend mode", thats got to confuse the hell out of them. So be clear, when you invite them to a party they are there with you, or not at all. Otherwise they are just using you as an invite.
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