Quote:
Originally posted by sugar and spice
The problem is that many of the times, a chapter DOES know better than a PNM where she belongs.
|
Ok, let me help clarify this. I totally get that it's more likely that a chapter will know if a particular girl will fit in with them than for a girl to know if she'll fit in with a chapter. It's a numbers thing - there are more of them than there are of her.
I realize that when I said, "Some people even go so far as to imply that a chapter will know better than the PNM as whether or not she'll fit in there, so they should just go with it", I used the wrong phrasing in my statement. I said "chapter" when I was really thinking more of Rho Chis as they're the ones who are doing the talking during recruitment. A PNM might really feel uncertain about a chapter and the Rho Chi will say, "I'm sure XYZ wouldn't invite you back unless they thought you'd be great there" or something like that.
Seriously, there are instances where struggling chapters invite back every decent girl. It's not that they truly thought the PNM would be a great match for their chapter, it's that they thought, even though they don't have too many things in common, she was "decent enough" to get an invite back.
Come on folks, please, please, please.....let's not play silly now. No one goes into recruitment and says "Oh boy! I'd just LOVE to join the weakest and most unlikeable sorority on campus!" or "I'm so excited! I really hope that I get a bid from a great group of girls that I have absolutely nothing in common with!"
And, NO, I am not hating on smaller chapters or struggling chapters. During recruitment I myself passed up the two "top" houses in favour of the two "bottom" houses because, gosh darn it, I simply liked them better. So no one better accuse me of that!
AGAIN, I reiterate I am not talking about Princess PNM who thinks she is ONLY suited for one or two top chapters and will "simply die if I don't get invited back". I'm sure the Rho Chis will be sitting there irritated thinking "This is ridiculous. She would actually fit perfectly with ABC but she's too busy primping for the others to pay any notice." THESE are the girls who need a lecture about keeping their minds and options open.
I am just saying that it seems to me like women always want to try and make everyone feel better, even if it's against the recipient's better judgement. In that effort, sometimes women would rather you suck it up than to rock the boat by saying "...but I don't feel right there!!" It's like telling your friend that her hair looks nice even though her haircut is horrendus. We'd rather keep the peace and be "nice".
Sugar and Spice, I think you said it right when you commented that, "...what I think this whole thing comes down to is 'Sometimes people don't get their top choices, so they have to decide whether to accept the best of what they got or to try again' -- and that's definitely not just an NPC issue. In any group where there's selective membership, it's going to be a problem."
Exactly, a
PNM should be able to make a free and clear decision based on all her available choices....even if it means deciding to Single Intentional Preference, drop out, or accept a bid. She should be able to do so without the hassle of people lecturing her about how she should keep an open mind about a group she truly dislikes. This also means not treating all freshmen like mere children just because they are young.
I don't know, I guess I'm the only person who sees things this way. Then again, all my life I've never really been a "girly-girl" type - I guess my style of reasoning is more like a man's. Heh, my boyfriend once told me, "You're pretty logical for a woman". I didn't know if I should be complimented, or if I should smack him upside his head.
.....Kelly