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Here's one way I've seen the difference between frat and fraternity, and I've always liked it:
A fraternity man joins a fraternity for the rich friendships and growth it brings to his life.
A frat boy joins a fraternity and expects others to take care of him; he generally pays his dues late.
A fraternity man, if he drinks, realizes he must drink responsibly.
The frat boy drinks to get drunk and becomes disgusting.
A fraternity man understands others are watching and knows his actions impact his fraternity.
A frat boy has no idea how his actions impact others and he doesn't care.
A fraternity man does what's right, even when nobody's watching.
A frat boy puts on a show for the world, but when nobody's watching, is rude and vulgar.
A fraternity man is a campus leader, who takes part in activities offered on campus.
A frat boy does not become involved and steps away from positions of leadership.
A fraternity man focuses on his class work and uses his time wisely.
A frat boy may go to class, but usually misses one or two while recovering from the night before.
A fraternity man spends time with alumni and has respect for them, realizing that much can be learned from those who have come before him.
A frat boy is disrespectful towards his elders and the alumni, and eventually runs them off.
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