Quote:
Originally posted by winneythepooh7
I think it is bad that a lot of people today grow up not knowing what it is like to want things because it makes them appreciate things less in our society.
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This can cut both ways. There are some people who know what it's like to want things and so decide that there's a better way to get them-- like by theft or by selling drugs to make money.
There are some who are comfortable with where they are, some who have more than they need and decide to spend spend spend, and there are those who don't have what they need. And there are those within each category who feel that they know what it's like to want things. Someone who is middle class might feel that they "need" the best kind of clothes or best car to fit in with their friends.
I'm an only child who has been very lucky. Before my senior year of college, I got a new car since mom's old one was almost dead. The car is 10 years old now. My parents saved for my college with bank savings as well as with mutual funds, which was another blessing. Those paid for my grad school tuition and room and board. The balance, which we rolled over to my custody at age 23, eventually became my and my husband's down payment for our townhouse.
When I got out of school, engaged, I *could not* live with my fiance. So I got a decent apartment, and they paid my rent and car insurance, and I paid for the rest. I had a year of subbing and temping jobs before getting a teacher's aide job, because there were too many candidates for English.
When I landed a library one-year-only position, they paid for grad school. They are paying for my husband's MLIS as well. Interesting fact: you can donate up to $10,000 per year, to someone, tax-free to them. They're both retired, earning pensions, with new jobs that earn them additional salary. They figure we're getting our inheritance early.
My mom also helped out her divorced sister, who was $50,000 in debt, by going 50-50 on the 35% down payment they needed to buy my aunt a townhouse. She's earning equity, and my aunt had lower payments (which mom has actually been paying), allowing my aunt to actually pay off her credit card debts and avoid having to go into bankruptcy.
I learned, and continue to learn, a great deal about money management from my parents. I max out my and my husband's IRAs every year. We pay off our credit cards *every single month*. We donate a decent sum to our church, which we're increasing every year. And we are keeping track of how much my parents have paid for grad school. It kind of keeps us humble.
So how do I deal with this? Very carefully. I don't tell a lot of people that my parents have done so much for me. I get a little aggravated by people who say "you didn't earn it" because I worked hard for my grades to get my scholarships, and I worked hard in school to earn a higher salary for myself. There's a woman at work whose husband lost his job, with two kids in middle and high school, who is on reserve duty. Luckily, their house is paid off. I don't know how I'd handle that. I try not to talk about money in front of her, because I don't want to make her feel any worse off.
We're not yet financially ready to move to a bigger house and start a family, though we're getting close, and that's something that I "want" very much. And I plan on buying a house that's within our means, so that I can have some left over to help our kids get a solid start in the world.