Quote:
Originally posted by SouthrnBelle
Well Ladies, since we're on the subject......
All of my life I have felt like the black sheep on his side of the family b/c I'm the daughter of the famliy disgrace. When people come from out of town or at family reunions and ask who I am, one of my father's sisters will say "Oh, that just so and so's daughter." His family won't even acknowledge that I am the only person out of my cousins who is actually doing something w/ their life. They still talk down to me like I'm nothing
I had gotten to the point where I would drink and drink and drink and smoke "funny cigarettes" just to cope with everyday life. Luckily, I managed to maintain good grades, but my party life was full of alcohol. I couldn't wait until Friday to hit the liquor store and get my fifth of Hennessey. It seemed like the only time I could be social was when I was drinking.
The relationship w/ him has caused me to be insecure and not trust men. I think everybody is out to hurt me and I hate rejection. I'm in a realtionship w/ a very good young man now, but I can't even appreciate him. I think he's still w/ me b/c he understands without me even having to say anything. I don't want to be like my mother, lonely and sad b/c she can't be with the only man she truly ever loved.
I would love to get help but I don't even know where to start. I'm crying as I type b/c it's not something I discuss b/c people just don't understand. It seems like folks use it against you.
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I feel you, I feel you, I feel you. Especially on the being social tip.