Quote:
Originally posted by Munchkin03
Sometimes those things ARE discussed in detail prior to marriage. People change. I never realized this when I wanted to become an art history professor, but to seriously thrive in your field, to have a job where your health care is actually paid for, where you don't have to worry about getting fired the next year or having your funding run out--sometimes family has to be sacrificed. I have a lot of professors who have chosen not to start families for that reason; when I heard their stories, I knew there was no way I could do as well in my career as I wanted to and still have a family. Sometimes people don't realize the extent of how much a super-star career in academia, medicine, or the law means to your outside life until you're already married.
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Thank you.
Some people jump to judgement...We DID discuss these things prior to marriage...AT LENGTH. In excruciating detail. I did not rush into anything.
Like munchkin has said about careers in academia, my husband fell victim to this exact thing. He will have his PhD in less than a year. The doctorate and lifestyle that he saw looming were at severe odds. Did this cause him to cheat...no, he did that on his own. But his change of heart on the kids and family priorities was exactly as munch explained.
People should not automatically assume that people's failed marriages are based on poor planning or lack of knowledge of anyone's intentions. You know what they say about people who assume...
