Quote:
Originally posted by Munchkin03
This is true that relationships take work. But, it's important to realize that some situations are simply beyond help. Infidelity, excessive drug use, ANY kind of abuse, mismanagement of funds, and simple differences in goals (kids vs. no kids, career as first priority no matter what) are dealbreakers in my book. Since I have so many areas on which I refuse to compromise, does that make me a "quitter"? Does that mean that I don't hold marriage as sacred as, say, my grandparents, who celebrated 60 years of marriage today?
It bothers me to hear people say that they "don't believe" in divorce. It's not like Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny--it exists. You don't think--or don't have the reason to believe--that divorce is an option in your life. When I marry, I hope it is forever, and I will work for that goal. I will not, however, stay in a situation that in which any of the above circumstances I mentioned happen.
dzsaigirl, I'm so sorry to hear of your story.  I hope you've noticed that most of the posts railing against subsequent marriages are from women. I'm sure there's a guy out there who will realize your experience is a reason to keep you, that a woman who respects herself is a great gift.
AKA_Monet, your posts are always so insightful.  I think as people grow up and mature, they see that there is an awful lot of gray in this world.
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I agree that there are some dealbreakers - I just think it has to be a little more extreme than what most seem to leave for these days. Abuse - of course, get out of there. Some of the other things you mention, however, may be able to be dealt with. If you really love someone, I would think that you would usually be inclined to want to first try to help them through their substance abuse or financial difficulties with some professional counseling and support.
As for the kids vs. no kids or career as a first priority, I simply see those as things that should be discussed and sorted out prior to reaching the altar. Marriage isn't something to rush into and I think if people took their time getting to know each other, it might cut down on the divorce rate a little.