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I know, in my instance, if I hadn't taken my husband's last name, or even if I had hyphenated my last name (which, it's really not too late to do that), our children (if we have any) will have his last name. He is the last male of his family w/ his last name, so we definitely will pass his last name on to our children (I think that's another reason why I agreed to take his last name).
We have the joint checking account w/ our names, and we have stuff w/ our monogram on it. I think that we would have the joint checking account even if I didn't take his last name...we would just have different last names on the checks! I know eventually I'd like to get a set of silver w/ our monogram on it...that is of course waaaayy down the road when we can afford 12 place settings of silver silverware!
To me, it's just frustrating b/c people ASSUME you're going to take the name, or people ASSUME he's the head of the household or the one who makes all the family decisions. Taking a name is just an extension of that, I think.
As for the teachers and people not knowing how to address you, I would think they could ask, "Are you Sally's mother?" instead of "Are you Mrs. Smith?" if they were unsure or uncomfortable in how they addressed you.
I don't know, just my $0.02.
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