I'm coming in late to this, but all I can say is take your child to someone who knows what they are doing, which is rarely going to be the pediatrician. (Not to be a slam on pediatricians -- it's just that this sort of a thing is really a specialty all to itself.) There is a spectrum of disorders that can result in AD(H)D-type symptoms. AD(H)D is only one.
Our son also showed many of the classic symptoms of ADHD from an early age, except for that fact that none of his hyperactivity/inattention got in the way of his life skills or learning, as per the diagnostic tools. (Other kid's learning, perhaps, but not his own.) He was eventually diagnosed with sensory integration disorder, which presents many of the same symptoms but very different challenges. Simply put, his brain did not process sensory stimulation properly and he has to "re-program" his brain to do so. As a result of the improper processing, some sensory input doesn't register as strongly as it should, while other input overloads him. The result is mental and physical disorganization that makes sitting still and paying attention (and lots of other things) hard to do. But with the right therapy (and no medicine), we have seen
lots of progress and just finished a very successful first year of school.
You also have to take the lead with teachers and principles. Don't make excuses for a child --"you need to go easy on her because" -- but be an advocate for your child. "She is a smart kid with a lot of potential, but she has some challenges, and this is what we have found will help her and help you day to day." We were really fortunate to have a kindergarten teacher who would go the extra mile for our son.
FYI, there has been a lot research tending to show that the incedence among boys of AD(H)D, sensory intergration issues, Asberger's and autism may have to do with the differences in early brain development between boys and girls. Something else to blame on testosterone.
