[bcdphie]

Has anyone seen this yet - it has to be a joke - if you read in between the lines it points to two of Canada's gripes: Western alienation and the separation of Quebec...


OTTAWA WILL AWARD STANLEY CUP TO QUEBEC

The federal government today announced it would award the STANLEY CUP to
Quebec, if Alberta's CALGARY FLAMES win the competition. The cup will go,
instead, to Quebec's MONTREAL CANADIENS, who were defeated in the early
rounds of the Stanley Cup playoffs. Prime Minister Paul Martin said the
hockey series was "only a guideline," and non-binding. He conceded that
CALGARY might have been the best hockey team, "but we have to look at what's

best for Canada."

"We have to support Canada's hockey industry, which is centered in
Montreal," said the Prime Minister. "Montreal is in the best position to
take full advantage of the Stanley Cup." He said the decision to overrule
the playoff results was "difficult and painful," but that national interests

had to prevail over petty "regional considerations."

Loss of the coveted trophy left most of Alberta seething with rage. "It's
another example of Quebec getting the goodies and the West getting the
shaft," said Ted Byfield. Indignant Quebec MP's who lobbied long and hard
for the Stanley Cup vehemently denied that the decision had anything to do
with politics. "It's not as if the West isn't getting its fair share of
federal support. We've announced the Lloydminster upgrader eight or nine
times. And let's not forget about all that rain for Western farmers this
spring."

Quebec Industry Minister dismissed Western complaints as "anti-French
hysteria from Alberta dinosaurs." "Quebec absolutely deserves this," he
said. "The MONTREAL CANADIENS have extensive experience as Stanley Cup
champions, while the CALGARY FLAMES have little to none. Sure, CALGARY won
the series with a couple of fluke goals and lucky saves, but the CANADIENS
have proven themselves over the long haul. If we're denied the Stanley Cup
now, it could only rejuvenate Quebec separatism and threaten the integrity
of all of Canada."

The Quebec premier was delighted to see the cup go to MONTREAL. He said the
trophy will be re-engraved with its new name "La Coupe Stanley" to comply
with Quebec sign laws.