I'm wondering, though, if this is a black woman thang, or a woman thang? Historically, woman in general, of all races, are a bit...catty to each other. That may be nature & biological (women competing to get the best male provider for their potential family) in addition to nurture. Men criticize women when we chop each other up yet sometimes, these same men encourage and relish in seeing women argue and fight over them. And especially with the number of "eligible" black men being significantly outnumbered by "eligible" black women, it gets even more disturbing.
Really, the key is that you can't develop a bitterness when YOU speak to a women who may not understand WHY she's being catty. I, like RaHel, look at most women inherently as nice folks unless she does something to clearly indicate she's on another agenda. That happens so often, though, that sometimes I just want to stop being friendly. I have to fight that inclination, though, or I'll be just like her--bitter at someone she doesn't know, for no reason.
I may not be able to change everyone's experiences, and I realize that I can't be friends with all women--some are just too hurt, too angry, or too crazy. I do, however, support to a fault, those women who are in my life as friends, and I try to encourage new friendships with women (if I've added a couple of new women friends in a year, I'm doing good, I think
). And yes, as a Zeta, I have been able to be closer to many of these women (as my Sorors) because we met first as Sorors, not as women at a club, bar, or campus dance competing for the cutest guy, or the best job.
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Finer Womanhood: the "Cat's Meow" Since 1920