[Iota-girl4life]

Originally posted by reddawn18
I got this email this morning. I thought it would be interesting read.

[i]
Ladies,

From a single Black male professional, please be careful of what you
hear and how you hear. Not all Brothers who dress nice, speak well and
love their moms, are Gay or on the DL. I for one, adore women only. I
am upset that Oprah Winfrey and her producers allowed J.L. King to paint
the picture that an epidemic of Brothers are on the DL and, that our
community is so over-sexed, that we will indulge in any type of sexual
Mis-behavior That brings gratification......DAMN Oprah!!!, have you
heard of responsible reporting?

It's a shame that the biggest day time talk show host, who is watched by
millions, would use her show as a pulpit for some
confused brother to further embarrass our already hurting
community,(Kobe Bryant, Michael Jackson, etc.). I mean let's be real,
J.L King is having sex with Men but, will not admit to being Gay,
(that's called confusion and
denial Y'all).

Black men are already under constant scrutiny of being thugs, pimps,
Playa's, thieves, etc. So, now we are under scrutiny for being on the
"DL"? You all have Husband's, Son,s, Brother,s, Father's and Nephew's.
Doesn't it bother you that everytime someone in our community
wants their book to be on the best seller list, they have to implicate
everyone else in the community?

And speaking specifically on J.L King, he say's that he was motivated to
write this book because he didn't want his daughter to "hook up " with
someone like him. So let me make sure I understand this, you care so
much for your Daughter that not only will you NOT give up your "DL"
tendancies, you impregnated your wife who conceived and could've exposed
the daughter that you "CARE" so much for to HIV, AID's or some other
sexually transmitted diseases. You then bring her on a nationwide,
syndicated talk show to try and show that her love for you is
unconditional. What the HELL kind of parenting is that!! Did you ever
stop to think that deep down inside, she just might be shattered? And,
if you cared so DAMN much about our Sister's, why didn't you inform your
wife about your deviant sexual behavior and let her decide for herself
if she wanted to risk being infected. Oh,but you "care so much".

I am also upset that Sister's were portrayed as being so desparate to
have a man that they are willing to accept this type of unGodly
Mis-behavior in order to have a "man" or, in order to maintain the
financial standard of living which she and her Man have become
accustomed too. No self-respecting Sister would knowingly jeopardize her
own life, Let alone the life of her children, in order to maintain the
status quo. What separates and defines a Black woman is her strength of
character, and her state of spirit and mind, not just her sexuality.

While I do appreciate the information the show provided, I was
disappointed that there was no balance to the show. It's good to Expose
that there are Brothers on the "Down Low" but also, let's give praise to
the Brother's on the "Up High". You know, UP on their responsibilities
and High On life.

So sisters, I love you all so, please be careful of who you're being
intimate with. And don't just assume that all brothers are on the DL.


P.S. J.L, since you chose to try and justify your behavior, you might
want to read Leviticus 18:22 and Leviticus 20:13. It Probably won't
change your behavior but, at least you'll be without
excuse.

I feel what this Brother is saying, and he made some very good points. However, this DL thing is real, and it is more wide spread than we as Black women want believe. My heart is aching right now because everything within me wants to hold on to all of the good things this Brother said about our Black men. Unfortunately when you have seen the poison of this DL thing touch several of the women in your family personally, or when you have found out an extremely close male relative of yours was living on the DL, it is kind of hard to be optimistic about the future of black men and women as it pertains their relationships. I am just going to put it out there and be real, I am afraid you all (I have lost folks over this DL situation), I am so afraid, that for almost six years I have not dated anyone. I am not bragging but I know that I am a good-looking sister; so attracting men is not the problem. But seeing this DL thing literally tear your family apart first hand is totally different than sitting out in TV land watching Oprah talk about it.

The ugly truth is we are playing Russian Roulette in dealing with our Black men now simply because you just do not know who is and who is not on the DL. If a man's wife of many years cannot tell he is on the DL, what hope is there for the sister just meeting him to detect his sexual preference? That close male relative I mentioned was my Dad, and not only was he on the DL, he was also HIV positive. My Dad is deceased now, but most would find it hard to imagine how it feels to know your Dad is on the DL, know he is HIV positive, and see him go after and get almost every beautiful woman that crossed his path. Most would find it hard to imagine being put in a position of wrestling with the decision of having to go to these women (many of whom I did not know all that well, and many times after they may have already slept with my dad) an tell them what the deal really was. Especially in light of the fact that my dad did not realize I knew he was on the DL. I found out by accident (but that is another long story). I love my Black brothers, but my faith in them (as far as romantic relationships go) has been severely shaken. At this point, I would rather be by myself than risk dying trying to decipher who is, and who is not on the DL.