Yes, I believe that the experience gained by living with your sisters or brothers is a crucial part of the Greek experience. Is it sexist for men to have houses when the women do not? It depends. Unfortunately, for whatever reasons, there is not always housing available for sororities. In other situtations, some chapters are housed but some are not. This also can be due to numerous things including a lack of suitable available housing, lack of available property to build on, and or cold hard cash to do either. If the university making meeting space, group living space or a combination of the two available to sororities then that's a positive (especially when everyone has the same type of housing in these situations!)
Yes, sorority houses do still have "house mothers" although there are some instances where they may not be required on a particular campus (very rare and few, but I can think of one campus where the 5 housed and 1 unhoused sorority do not have "house moms.")
The difference is that what you remember as a "house mom" is now often referred to as a "House Director." She's not just a Mom anymore! The HD serves as the on site property manager for the house corp, and can handle everything from menu planning to recruitment event assistance to emergency repairs and more. The HD handles property security issues, hires and fires house staff, coordinates property maintenance, oversees daily house operations and more. Need a special landscaping or house cleaning job? She can get it done. There's a problem with roommates or a few girls not getting along in a dormer? She's often the one to contact the appropriate chapter officer or adviser to let them know of a potential problem so they can take it from there.
She serves as a resource to her residents and to the members at large as well, just like in the olden days
Yes, of course she assists with teaching manners and "gracious living," but today it may be done more in conjunction with that chapter's particular goals or needs (such as dinner conversation to practice for formal recruitment or a general education module on manners.) The job really has evolved and is a huge responsibility, regardless of whether you have 10 beds or 150 beds!
We are hiring a new HD for our local chapter house next year, and some of the resumes we've received would blow you away. There are literally Professional House Directors out there, and a lot of them. Without a dedicated, professional and responsible HD our House Corps could not get the job done. The HD is a crucial component to a chapter's success.
HTH!
Christin