Quote:
Originally posted by sororitygirl2
Lately, from all of my experiences and observations, I am beginning to wonder - is this the case? Or is it just that I am too young and the men I associate with have not matured enough to work through the issues that arise in a relationship? (Sorry to blame the men, but really...) It just seems to me that the women I know are willing to invest time and effort into relationships, whereas the men just seem more likely to bail.
Is the human race doomed? Somebody please offer some encouraging words... I'm awfully down about this right now!
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This may sound a little wierd coming from me but here goes:
After observing couples who have made thing work and stuck things out (my parents, other friends who are married, long term couples of 5+ years) I've realized something. Usually the couples who seem to be working, somebody in that relationship has given something up inorder to attain that "picture perfect" relationship. Either it was something along the lines of one of the two could have landed someone who looked a whole lot better but chose the one who would make the best long term companion OR one of the two had enough money to where the other puts up with the other's shit inorder to stay together and have a good life. Somehwere along the line somebody has to give something up. Thats why you don't see couples out there who are both hotties and who are both rich and actually last through 20+ yrs of marriage. I guess people fall into one of two categories, 1: those who want the 20+ years of togetherness and will do what it takes to achieve that or 2: Those who don't care about it enough and just go with the flow.
This idea may sound a little out there, but it's definitely not just the men who are more willing to bail than women. I, personally, know a lot of women who have bailed on men. I highly doubt one sex is more likely to bail than the other. I firmly believe its a commitment thing. I think there are people out there who feel trapped when a relationship hits a certain point and the only way to rid themselves of that feeling is to bail out. Seriously, think about....In each of our lives we've had someone talk that "crazy-pyscho" talk where the other person says they want to marry you or can't be with anyone else or blah blah blah blah blah. And, somewhere along the line you've been that crazy person too. Whether or not you actually said that crazy stuff or were thinking it is irrelevant. Fact is, it crossed your mind. And when that happens you/they start acting differently in the relationship....to the point where shit starts feeling too serious. And if both of you don't feel the same way...what happens? You break up.
What people need to understand is, take shit for what it is. Once you can learn to do that, your relationships will be so much better. You wont be stressing out over shit. You wont be checking up on them. You wont be second guessing yourself. You wont be trying to interpret the other's actions. You wont be reading too deep into what they do/say. Trust me, it'll be alot better.
Craig