Andy,
Reputable personal trainers will usually be a member of an industry body; there may be more than one of these. It will then be possible to check whether a member is in fact registered with them.
Reputable personal trainers will also usually have a specific industry recognised qualification; again there may be more than one of these.
It will usually be possible to find this information out (industry bodies/qualifications to look out for) easily, be it via a web search or by asking an instructor at a gym - who would generally always know.
Freelance trainers (perhaps not a member of any industry body) through personal recommendation can often be a very good route too.
Trainers have often trained for several years and participated in fitness competitions or bodybuilding competitions. This is possibly also an indication that they like what they do. Since enthusiasm is infectious, that is no bad thing.
You don't say what your goals are e.g. hypertrophy ("muscle-building") versus toning and general fitness. However, as a general rule it is good to go for someone who looks like they train themselves, and are in good shape. That tends to allow you to differentiate between those who train... and those who read about training. It may tend to not inspire confidence if the mentor looks like he needs to learn a thing or two from the protegé.
Trainers have different styles, some have softer styles others have a more boot camp sergeant style. Different approaches work better for different clients; trainers may be also able to tailor their normal approach to what works best for you.
Some gyms may have restrictions about using external trainers in the gym; particularly if they offer personal training themselves. Some amount of discretion will usually suffice should that be the case - i.e. a trainer standing some feet away shouting instruction will look out of place. Also, if your 'cousin' or 'friend' happens to be a personal trainer... and wishes to train with you of course, then that would be up to you rather than the establishment. I'm sure that wasn't lost on you!
Make sure the trainer is prepared to sit down with you and go through what your goals are and explain how to achieve them. You should be looking for a trainer able to offer continuing motivating advice on diet as well as exercise.
Don't be afraid to shop around, I've had personal trainers over the years both male and female; I got better results with some than others.
No idea if that helps at all but good luck with your training.
- Richard.
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