Quote:
Originally posted by DoggyStyle82:
Right question, wrong answer. Men, especially insecure men, do not want women who will challenge everything about their manhood. That is, their ability to provide for and protect their mate. If everytime something goes wrong, the woman says "I don't need you, I got my own" or "I can do for my self", the man feels that this attitude is directed at diminishing his manhood. That is why many insecure Black men opt for the woman who does not have her life together or the less challenging and confrontational white woman. I don't fall into this category, but I know plenty brothers like that.
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There is something to the essence of the post, but I just don't agree with all of it. It is important sometimes to let a man feel like his contribution is vital to the family's survival. Everyone needs to be acknowledged for their hard work, and in a relationship it is no different.
If the topic of "I can get mine on my own" constantly comes up in a relationship, then it is a control thing, and one of the things that is really needed for a successful relationship is for both individuals to know when to relinquish or share control for the good of the couple/family.
If a man is insecure to the point where he never wants to relinquish control over anything to his woman, trust me, he is really really worth letting get away.
[This message has been edited by TRSimon (edited July 17, 2001).]