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I have to agree with JAM. It depends on both the child and the situation. In situations like running into the street, sticking something into an electrical socket, touching a hot stove, it's important to associate them with physical harm and I spanked my kids, when they were too young to reason with, to demonstrate this. Ditto with harming others.
I had two very different children. My daughter is so extremely sensitive that just saying her name sharply (even now that she's 10) sends her into tears and apologies. She's generally a very well behaved child. Her friends' moms all say "She is welcome here any time", she is a teacher's pet, is always sweet to others and is very compassionate (well, to everybody but her younger brother, but sibling stuff is different anyway).
Then there is my son. He will take attention any way he can get it, even if it's negative (like spanking). He is now 8 and for about the past 3 years, he will not only refuse to cry if spanked, he will laugh and giggle, which makes an angry parent only more angry. My ex still spanks him and has no control over his behavior. I find though, that he responds better to the loss of playstation, game boy, computer games, etc. than he does to spankings. The "if you keep doing xyz, you'll lose playstation for a week" totally works with him. He is much calmer at my house than at his dad's (even at school, per the latch key staff). He responds to chaos with chaos. He responds to a calm, mellow demeanor with calmness. He knows that if he wants attention (cuddling, playing a board game, or just talking) from me, he will get it if he asks so he doesn't have to act out to get it. He also knows my rules and knows the consequences if he doesn't follow them. His dad is not consistent and will change the rules or consequences based on what is convenient for him at the time.
It's about knowing your kids, knowing what works and what doesn't for them, evaluating the risk of the behavior and being consistent at an early age. Oh yeah, "The Look" will do wonders if they learn it early!
Dee
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