Quote:
Originally posted by abaici
Successful women of a certain age start to feel inadequate. I mean, I can accomplish things that so many people cannot, yet, I am a failure at something ANYONE can do. Re-re on the corner has a husband.
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I totally feel you on this. It's not WHO Re-Re has, it's the fact that she has. It's all principle. I'm not saying I think a relationship or a marriage is going to be easy. I'm saying I'm ready for the challenge. I'm not saying I wish I had everyone's husband; what Yah has for me is for me. I'm saying that I WANT mine and I'm tired of waiting. See, people get uncomfortable with these types of conversations. All of a sudden we are desperate and need to quit looking. Who said any of us were looking for anything? I'm trying to WAIT patiently. That does not get rid of the feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, horniness, etc. Like a good friend of mine says, we need to start telling the truth. All that rhetoric about enjoying time with yourself is just that, rhetoric. Yes, I enjoy time with myself. Yes, I love myself. Yes, that's all cool. I'm still horny. I'm still lonely. I still crave the LONG TERM COMPANIONSHIP of a mate. I still crave children. I WANT to be pregnant, whether I like the whole experience or not, I want to have it. I'm no longer willing to act like I'm cool with being single; I'm not. Because what I realize is that all the things that I'm doing as a single woman I can do as a married woman. I'm not saying that I didn't need nor trust the process. I do and I did. However, that does not change my truth. I'm not runnin' up in the clubs every weekend trying to meet some man. I'm not basing everything I do on meeting some man. But trust that it is ALWAYS on my mind. No, my life has not stopped (supposedly, it just started last Wednesday
), I continue to do the things that fulfill me. But there is a void, and it can't be ignored.
Single sistas out there, I feel you.
