Quote:
Originally posted by Professor
Good Morning to All,
The show was the topic of conversation all weekend. I have a few takes on this issue that I want to share.
Why is everyone so shocked - - Most black folk know that some men go both ways or as my mother says, he is suspect. I did not learn anything from the show other than a greater awareness of why folk wanna be on the DL.
The thing about asking your boy if he has slept with another dude - - - well, what do you expect him to do, tell you - the truth - lol - thats almost like meeting a woman at the club within five minutes and asking her if she gives oral sex - they all say no. Some things I expect folk to lie about and I can't see my women would expect a man to tell her yes.
Stop acting like AIDS comes from only gay sex. After watching the show I was like why not emphasize having protected sex regardless if it is with a man or woman. Do women feel its ok to have unprotected sex with a hetro male? In my profession I say cover it up regardless and don't take chances.
I had dinner with some frat brothers this weekend and was surprised that the show was discussed. Men don't talk about gay men and gay stuff. Its like if you are hetro then you should automatically be anti-gay. As you all know, I've been very sensitized to gays because of my gay, now deceased uncle. He helped me see people as people and I'm really proud of how I feel about gays. Back to the frat thing, during dinner one of the attendees was gay. He made no comments not that he had to but what was a surprise to me was Brothers would not come out and ask him if he was gay or ask him questions. It was like, we all know he's gay but don't want him to tell. Hell, I didn't even ask and normally after a few drinks I'll say whatever comes to my mind. I guess I really do support don't ask don't tell cause I really don't want to know. If you tell me something like that then I will think of you differently.
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Professor, you have a good point that we must emphasize that ALL unprotected sex will subject you to possibly contracting HIV/AIDS. I think that the reason that this sort of unprotected sex is especially appalling with men on the DL is in the instances in which they are BRINGING IT HOME TO THEIR WIVES. Not many wives that I know are having *protected* sex with their husbands. If he is faking and having unprotected sex during one of his trollups then it is true that he could contract something from a man or a woman; however, the fact of the matter is that some obscene percentage of new HIV/AIDS cases in the Black community is from men who have sex with MEN. We cannot overlook this blatant fact.
But you're right. Even men having sex with WOMEN can contract HIV/AIDS and bring it home to you.
As an aside, I think that homosexuality / being on the Down Low, whatever, is basically about how you like it (sex, that is). There is no other difference between that person and the next person besides their sexual preference. It's no different from a sexual preference to be a sadomasochist or something. I don't see why folk don't just put it out there. If you like it like that, you just do. Tell the truth and give others a chance to know who they are really dealing with.
***The next line is not for the faint at heart***
Ladies, I am also told that when you ask, look him in the eye and get the TRUE reaction (not what his mouth says - what his bodily reaction says) AND there may be tell-tale signs through investigation of body parts that may give you some clue as to whether a man is "the receiver" OR who label themselves as "bottoms." This may be a helpful tip to the wives who may be more at liberty to "check your man out." OF COURSE IT IS NOT A FAILPROOF METHOD AND IT MAY NOT BE A VERY ACCURATE TEST AT ALL. And of course it doesn't do anything for those men who consider themselves "tops." However, at the end of the day, it just seems that the safest best is to take an HIV test and STILL just make him wrap it up.
SC