[XOMichelle]

to concerned451

You should know something about us on Greekchat. We do NOT condone hazing, or the people that do it (I don't even support the people who let it happen to them, because I think you have a choice, but no everyone agrees on that point).
If a chapter of my sorority was caught hazing I would not tolerate it for one minute, and no one else here would either. If you want to come on and tell us how bad hazing is you are preaching to the chior! We already agree. :-)

ETA:
My bf is the rush chair of his faternity and I think anyone against greek life should read these little ditties he wrote:

"We like to say that their is no typical Sigma Nu which to me means we value diversity tremendously- diversity of race, interests, majors, philosophies and politics. We have beer drinkers and teatotalers, athletes and intelectuals, techies and fuzzies. We value men that have other interests; we want you to be involved with the fraternity, but we don't want the fraternity to be your whole life. We try and cultivate men who will be leaders on campus and beyond. We like to socalize, but we also emphasize honor (the hallmark of Sigma Nu) and respect toward women."

My favorite line? We emphasize respect toward women.

Here's a few lines from his article, "Why every freshman should rush":


"...What do you feel the most important thing is that you can take from your time here? Your GPA? Membership in an honors society?

I would submit to you that the most valuable resource here is our fellow students. If you come out of school with several real, lasting friendships, then I would count you as truly successful. I am continually in awe of all the amazing things that Stanford students do; you might never again have such a rich resource of really cool people from whom to learn.

I have no doubt that everyone here is super intelligent, but I’m not quite as certain that some are wise enough to contemplate what they want to gain from their Stanford experience. Get good grades, but for Pete’s sake don’t spend so much time working on stuff to enhance your resume that you don’t spend time developing meaningful relationships with the people around you. The “deathbed perspective” means picturing yourself lying on your deathbed, looking back and taking stock. What will be most important to you? I’m guessing it will be your family first, your close friends second and everything else a distant third.

Now, if you buy my perspective that your bonds with others are what is most important in life, maybe you’ll understand why I’m so pro-fraternity. As a freshman, I was firmly against fraternities because of all the stereotypes: I didn’t want to join a group of people that engaged in silly hazing, disrespected women, drank beer, partied a lot and just generally lived shallower lives.

Also, I am very anti-elitist, and I didn’t like the idea that a group of strangers would judge my social worth and how “cool” I was and that I would get accepted or rejected based upon how I acted in a couple of interactions with fraternity members. Coming back to school 10 years later, I knew from the start that I wanted to join a fraternity: I was already missing the camaraderie from SWAT, the police and the Army. When I joined my fraternity at the end of the rush process last spring, I instantly gained 50 new friends — and what a group we have.

The men are respectful toward women, take care of their academics before partying, have plenty of friends outside the fraternity and, in my opinion, tend to lead deeper — not shallower — lives. I know that there are lots of great guys in other fraternities who are equally proud of their own groups.

In the sort of hectic, resume-building, activity-laden, pre-professional schedules most students keep, I have a lot of concern that it becomes difficult for people to build many meaningful relationships (see “The Organization Kid” from the Atlantic April 2001 for a great discussion of this).

...Being in a fraternity enforces balance in students’ lives. It ensures that you’re nurturing what’s most important while you’re nurturing your future career."