De6 it sounds like you are having a bad experience. I am also not sure what, specifially you want from us on the board: advice, money??
If you are looking for advice, my suggestion would be to discuss your concerns with someone in the chapter. There should be one person (a chair for instance) who is in charge of the entire Cotillion. You or one of your parents should speak to that person privately to express your concerns, the lack of attention you feel that you are getting and your goals for participating in the Cotillion. Maybe you can be assigned another mentor, or at the very least, someone will talk to the person in question.
I was never in a Cotillion/Deb ball as a High Schooler, but I know the one in my town, which was sponsored by a local women's group (not a sorority, but affiliated with the National Council of Negro Women's Clubs, or something like that) selected the "Deb winner" the same way that you described: one who brought in the most money won, but there were other prizes (and scholarships) for other young ladies who did things like had the highest GPA, attending the most events, held an office, or was, for lack of a better word, Miss Congeniality, etc. In addition, my mother's sorority has a similar kinda thing and a group of members are assigned to each girl to help with the fund raising. They too are expected to sell ads, tickets, etc. As a matter of fact, they have an "assessment" where each member is expected to donate a certain amount. They can raise it or just write a check! Does your group have a similar situation or is it jsut one on one? If there is agroup, you may want to just speak to another member in your assigned group about your concerns..
Every experience we have is a learning experience. I know you are a believer, so ask God what he wants you to get out of this experience, good and bad. The sum total of our experiences prepare us for the next step in life.