Hi, I haven't posted here in a while, but I feel like I need to speak on your situation. I just did my Cotillion a little under two years ago, so I feel like I can relate.
The whole point of the Cotillion for me, was to meet and bond with other girls my age, participate in the etiquette, attire, and other "polishing" activites, do some service projects, and dress up, get pretty, and have some fun. I was raising money to have a little extra to go off to school with. I guess I just don't understand, because I never felt like I had to prove to my sponsor that I could raise X amount of money, and few of the other girls feeling that way either-- only the ones whose parents felt like they had something to prove. I know that I didn't have as much money as a lot of the other girls, but I didn't really care... scholarsip money is scholarship money; you're doing it for yourself. I think the attitude of raising so much just to be on the court and say "look at how much money I could get out of my friends and relatives" is a little misguided-- you could have easily raised the same amount by the same means and kept all of it for school. (which is supposed to be the point)
Concerning your sponsor, I'm sorry that she feels that she has something to prove to the rest of her chapter and is making you feel bad about that. But you can't change other peoples' attitudes-- you can only change your own and "do you." Don't feel like you have to work extra hard to drum up money so she can feel good about herself-- have your loved ones send donations in the name of Me Phi Me, Inc. straight to YOU and save it for those books next semester!
I'm sure you're a wonderful young lady, and as long as you can believe that, NOBODY can tell you otherwise!