[James]

Well speaking in generalizations . . so please ladies don't jump and say you are not one of the ten percent this doesn't apply to . . cough . . . ahem . . . Valkyrie . . .

A chatty guy will likely be chatty on the phone . . but still less chatty than a chatty girl.

If I ask a girl a question like: what did you do today, I will often get a stream of consciousness monologue that starts when she wakes and ends with my question.

If you ask a guy the same question, even a chatty guy will give a much abridged answer.

This poses some problems in communication.

In Deborah Tannen's book You Just Don't Undestand she talks about the differences between male and female communication.

Females do raport talking, they talk to bond, share events and experiences. They will often interrupt each other and speak at length.

Males do report talking. We talk to relate tangible events. We tend to speak in turns.

So in some ways when you talk to us, we are waiting to get a word in edgewise. We are less likely to volunteer information. So often not only do you have to ask us questions, but also the right questions.

Also, well . . we . . generally don't care a lot about what you are relating to us. Especially if we consider it trivia. We care about you, but not all the infintessable items of your day.

We just don't bond by hanging on every detail . . . unless your name is ESPN Sports Center. We are not your best girlfriend.

So we call you to check in. To touch base. To hear new and important updates. And to make plans. We start glazing over a little if you start going on to long, although we will listen because we care about you.

Think Football . . we only need the highlights.

Here is a tip: If you really want us to focus all our intention on your trivialties, talk to us naked. I promise we will be riveted. And it will avoid fights.