[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by Hootie
There are a few GCers on here who will never know how instrumental they were to helping me make it through the night because I was a sobbing mess. My friends didn't allow me to heal and talk about my pain, because they didn't like my ex, so why should I be so upset?!?! Talking helps a lot...believe me. It allows you to relive things and deal with the hurt. It also helps to hear that others have been where you are.

Oh yeah, I know how that is. Blaine will never know how instrumental he has been over the past few months in making sure that I will not end up hating the entire male gender. And where would I be without the harem?

Talking about it helps a LOT -- especially to my friends who are familiar with the whole situation. I thought it would hurt too much to talk about it and I would end up wallowing, but it really helps so much in giving me perspective on the whole thing and getting all of the worries and stress out.

Originally posted by valkyrie

You are too good to play those recycle-the-old-crappy-ex-games -- you are a strong, intelligent, interesting and fun woman and there is no way you're going to allow yourself to have any contact with this guy who doesn't deserve you. Even if your whole world was this guy, it's not any more and it's time to take everything that was "us" and make it "you" -- trust me, you can do it.

Thank you . . . I totally agree on the recycling the ex stuff. Previous breakups have taught me things like "Never play the breakup-back together-breakup-back together game" and "Don't ever allow yourself to do the rebound thing because you are bad at it and end up hurting feelings" -- now I just have new lessons to add to the list.

Originally posted by James
How long has it been since the last time you spoke to him even for the briefest moment?

AS i stated before, love is like addiction . . as a metaphor . . but its also the best model for recovery that I know.

Any type you revisit your addiction you start the countdown to recovery all over again. If you talk to him, ignore him and talk to him . . its even worse because you never really get to feel good at all . . and you never fully recover.

So, stop any contact . .. make sure you get good nights sleep. A lot of how bad the process is will depend on your stress and fatigue levels.

Think about 3-4 days of valium or another anti-anxiety . . use over the counter sleep aids so that you get deep sleep. Eat well and excercise.

In a perfect world, if you can avoid him for like 2 months, it should be pretty easy to get over it.

I haven't talked to him at all since Saturday and I think this will continue for at least a few more weeks if not longer. I agree completely that it is best to cut off all contact and even though it has been pretty difficult for me to do that until now I think I'll be able to handle it.

I am going to skip the valium because I'm already on another prescription anti-anxiety and I'd probably get addicted to the hard stuff.

Originally posted by honeychile

"This is the man I used to love."

EXACTLY. I just have to remember this.



Thank all of you guys who responded, and especially those who offered to talk, so much -- you have no idea how much it helps, especially to know other people have made it through/are going through the same thing. I have been doing really well so far and with any luck that trend will just continue. I hope any of you that are having similar problems are hangin' in there too. I'm always willing to talk if you need it . . .