Yesterday must have been the day for the blues because i was feeling them too. Lately I feel more blues than i feel the REDS (i just decided to name the happies that). . . Anyway bills are piling up, loans from taking a 5th year in school, no man, the man I want is giving me the YOU MAKE ME SICK, HELL WIT YA blues. . . .Anyway I just read this and had to go find something my best friend sent to me 2 years ago. It's from Yesterday I Cried from Iyanla who oddly enough I refuse to read her books but hope this poem will help you and so many others who are going through.
YESTERDAY I CRIED
I came home, went straight to my room, sat on the edge of my bed, kicked off my shoes, unhooked my bra, and I had myself a good cry.
I'm telling you, I cried until my nose was running all over the silk blouse I got on sale. I cried until my ears were hot. I cried until my head was hurting so bad that I could hardly see the pile of soiled tissues lying on the floor at my feet. I want you to understand, I had myself a really good cry yesterday.
Yesterday, I cried, for all the days that I was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry. I cried for all the days, and the ways, and all the times I had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected my self from myself, only to have it reflected back to me in the ways others did to me the same things I had already done to myself. I cried for all the things I had given, only to have them stolen; for all the things I had asked for that had yet to show up; for all the things I had accomplished only to give them away, to people in circumstances, which left me feeling empty, and battered and plain old used. I cried because there really does come a time when the only thing left for you to do is cry.
Yesterday I cried.
I cried because little boys get left by their daddies; and little girls get forgotten by their mommies; and daddies don't know what to do so they leave; and mommies get left so they get mad.
I cried because I had a little boy, and because I was a little girl, and because I was a mommy who didn't know what to do, and because I wanted my daddy to be there for me so badly until I ached. Yesterday I cried.
I cried because I hurt. I cried because I was hurt. I cried because hurt has no place to go except deeper in the pain that caused it in the frst place, and when it gets there, the hurt wakes you up. I cried because it was too late. I cried because it was time. I cried because my soul knew that I didn't know that my soul knew everything I needed to know. I cried a soulful cry yesterday, and it felt good. It felt so very, very bad. I'm in the midst of my crying, I felt my freedom coming, because YESTERDAY I CRIED with an agenda.
I hope this helps, there are also songs I listen to in my times of sorrow, anger, confusion, frustration, disappointment, loneliness, despair, etc.
Songs:
I Told the Storm by Greg O'Quin
That's Why I Praise You by Kurt Carr
I am God by Donald Lawrence
For the Good of Them by Milton Brunson
I Tried Him and I Know Him by Milton Brunson
More than I can Bear by God's Property
Free by Kirk Franklin and One Nation Crew
God is Trying to Tell You Something - Color Purple Soundtrack
These songs can all be found on Napster, feel free to download them
[This message has been edited by CrimsonTide4 (edited February 21, 2001).]