Everything has now been decided. After a very difficult month, the Exec of my chapter has decided to accept my request for alumna status. Going alum was NOT what I wanted to do, but in the end, I wasn't given much of a choice - either go alum & accept the Exec's list of conditions & restriction - essentially spelling out what I am & not allowed to do & attend - or be forced to leave the sorority in bad standing. Great choices, wouldn't you say?! With a very heavy heart, I swallowed my pride & accepted the alum status. This is so hard!!
( What makes this even harder is that I-week begins today, with a meet-the-parents thing. This I-week looks to be the best one yet - with more bonding activities than I've ever seen - unfortunately, I am not allowed to attend much of it. I only have 'permission' to attend one dinner (big sis/little sis), and then the actual ceremony & brunch next Sunday. I am sorry to go on about this, but please understand how difficult this is - I feel so left out!
One thing that I should add - going alumna in & of itself is not the worst thing in the world. I know that I'll now have more time to put into school & other things. However, one thing that I neglected to share is that our Exec, or EC, is comprised of both undergrads AND their alum advisors, who also have a vote. It is a number of the alum advisors, almost all of which are younger than me, were among the most vocal about me being kicked out. That hurts a lot, because now I can't even see myself getting involved with the Junior Alum chapter here (which has members that like me, are still at school), knowing that some of these members are among those that wanted to take my letters away.
So there you have it - I am now an alumna, whether I like it or not. I am so happy that I still have my letters, but that's about all that I'm happy about. I'm not sure what to do next.
Your comments & advice will be welcomed & much appreciated!!
- lost 'alum'