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Ok as far as buying online, what about something to the effect of:
# of Seats: Please keep in mind that CattleCar Airlines puts its customers' comfort first. If you feel that the size of our chairs may inhibit your personal comfort or the people around you, please consider buying two, with the second being 25% off. Flight attendants reserve the right to request you purchase two seats if they deem necessary. We appreciate your cooperation in this matter.
Gheyness, but I'm sorry, it might not be your fault you're "of size", but it's not mine either. Flying into O'Hare last year, this guy next to me was so big (and only in the middle, it was weird) that I couldn't even get my tray table down. I'm not kidding. I waited to eat until after he went to the bathroom. Fun times.
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