Quote:
Originally posted by aurora_borealis
Rachel, I am going to try and say this in the nicest way possible, and if I anger you, shoot me a PM or IM.
You are twenty years old, you have plenty of time to meet people and get married. You aren't going to school for health reasons, and I have been there myself, it isn't easy. The best thing I can tell you is this: concentrate on getting to know YOU and less on finding someone. Sure we all like having someone special in our lives, but when it becomes an all consuming boy crazy fevor, it isn't healthy. I am happy that you are involved in Chabad and exploring your faith. There is no need for any man or woman to find someone to COMPLETE them, but to COMPLIMENT the person they are.
Sometimes when people are so hellbent on meeting someone and coupling up, it scares away potential mates. Just spend time doing things for yourself, work, enjoy Chabad, and when the right man comes along, you will know. It is better to be single and like who you are with happiness and loving friends and family; than to be with a man for the sake of being with a man. You have your whole life ahead of you, enjoy the time you have now when you can do anything you want.
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Thank you for putting it so eloquently because I know I couldn't!
I remember being 19-20 years old thinking that I needed a guy to complete me. I'd do everything that was possible to impress everyone else, totally neglecting my own happiness. I thought I needed a guy to make me happy. At the same time I was alienating myself from friends, family, and sisters.
I can't recall what made me do a complete 180, but I'm glad I got my act together -- my grades went up, I strengthened my relationship with friends and family, and I got to see the world. Guys came and went, but because I was focused on ME, it wasn't a big tragedy if things didn't work out.
Give yourself some ME time. You'll be glad that you did.