[honeychile]

I had to put my cat down. My Sharlie had been shot once in the eye when he was only 6 months old; it healed, but his pupil went into the hole in the corner of his eye & he was left very cross-eyed. Since this happened when he should have been neutered, he couldn't be, and he was quite a lover - I still see his descendants! He was always being attacked by other cats (because of his blind spot), and I only found out after he died that the neighbors called his "the pirate cat" because the one side of his face was usually scratched.

He was very loving to me, though, sitting on my lap every night I was home, sleeping on my bed, and learning a LOT of tricks for a cat! He "kissed" on command, and could walk on his hind legs.

Anyhow, he developed bladder cancer, and passed blood with his urine as he was becoming incontinent. My mom also had a white sofa at the time - not fun! I started to steel myself, and one morning, it was obvious that it was necessary. Sharlie could barely move, and just looked at me in a painful way. I held him, and he "kissed" me, then put his head down. It was time, he knew it, I knew it, and my family all came over to say goodbye to him. I opened a can of tuna (his favorite treat), and he could only nibble at it - I think more to please me.

When we got to the vet, he pulled out the thick file on Sharlie, and said, "You've done right by this cat." I don't think I could have gone through with it otherwise. We said goodbye, he "kissed" me again, and the next time I saw him, he was gone. I'm typing this through the tears, because I don't think I could ever go through that again, and yet, knowing when to put a pet down is part of the responsibility of having a pet.

My mama's little dog has me wrapped around his little paw, and part of me is terrified by that. I never want to have to make the decision to euthanize again, because no matter what anyone EVER says, the pets you love are members of your family - and nothing less.

My prayers are with you, Dear One. This is a very hard time, and I hope you allow yourself time to grieve.