|
Some of you are so quick to jump all over people and say they are being offensive.
I too am one of "those people" with a mental illness. I have dysthemia and major depressive disorder, also known as double depression.
However, I don't think anyone here is being offensive. I would not date a person who's mental illness was untreated/so out of control that he was a danger to me, himself and others. No matter how wonderful a person he may be, if his illness wasn't under control and I feared for my life. I could not be with him. It's purely a safety issue.
But sometimes it's also a mental health issue. I went out a few times with a guy who I knew suffered from depression. He was very sweet and I liked him, however at that time in my short life, I was just pulling my self out of the gutter (so to speak) and I was coping with my depression. I was doing a lot better but I did not have the emotional strength to also deal with someone elses depression. Our first date he didn't say more than 10 words to me and then had the nerve to get upset when I wouldn't let him crash at my place.
I suggested to him that he seek professional help. I told him that I couldn't be in a relationship with someone who wasn't dealing with their depression because I was having enough trouble dealing with my own. Could you imagine that relationship? Two extremely sad people together...oh yeah what a barrel of laughs that would have been.
So, it's all about balance. I couldn't date someone who was in a deep depression and unwilling to give it a chance. I gave this guy plenty of chances but I couldn't help him because he didn't want any help at the time. We remind friends for a while (until we go into an unrelated argument). He eventually did get some help, and found himself a new girlfriend.
I don't think I was being mean, or offensive or selfish. I was looking out for my own mental health. He eventually looked after his own and found the happiness he was looking for. If I had continued to date him I would have become his therapist, not his girlfriend.
|