[James]

Ten Signs She's a Witch
by Miss Love



ONE

She's always sighing.

Sometimes a witch doesn't have to open her mouth to tell you how she feels. Call it a talent. A girl who's always rolling her eyes or sighing like she's too good for the room probably thinks she's too good for you, too.

TWO

She doesn't like your friends.

Friends beat out a trophy girlfriend any day. If she thinks your friends are losers and doesn't want you to spend time with them, or if she treats them with disrespect, show her the door.

THREE

She's always making you foot the bill.

Be weary of any woman who expects you to pay her way. You'll go bankrupt before you make a woman like that happy.

FOUR

She loves to scrutinize your appearance.

A woman who complains about how a man dresses considers him an accessory. If she's telling you what to wear, she's more concerned with how she looks standing next to you.

FIVE

She doesn't get along with her own family.

A girl who can't stand her own parents might as well start kicking puppies on the street. If she can't at least pretend to get along with them, she's certainly not going to make an effort with you.

SIX

She can't take a joke.

A witch generally takes her bitchiness very seriously. She doesn't have time to laugh (it might smear her makeup).

SEVEN

She always has to be in control

You know you're in the company of a witch if she turns off the football game you're watching so she can catch the last five minutes of Oprah.

EIGHT

She forgot your birthday.

She never called you on your birthday, but she has reminded you repeatedly when hers is. She even gave you a list of gift ideas.

NINE

She's mean to store clerks.

She treats service people like servants, which is how she'll eventually start treating you.

TEN

She owns a T-shirt with the word BITCH embossed in glittery letters on the front and back.

Need we say more?


Copyright 2004 Fun Online Corporation.
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