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Well the homothug will unfortunately be the first one and the loudest one saying no.
I see what you're saying Soror, and you do have a good point. I guess it should just be a regular part of the getting to know you process. Don't ask too soon or he'll be offended, but when you are becoming acquainted (second date maybe) ask away. Even if you don't feel comfortable. I would do it flat out, but might caution the man beforehand that even though he might find the question offensive it's a standard one that I ask all men with whom I am becoming involved.
Or get him drunk and play "I never". In Vino Veritas!
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It may be said with rough accuracy that there are three stages in the life of a strong people. First, it is a small power, and fights small powers. Then it is a great power, and fights great powers. Then it is a great power, and fights small powers, but pretends that they are great powers, in order to rekindle the ashes of its ancient emotion and vanity.-- G.K. Chesterton
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