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I am going through these kinds of tough decisions right now. My mom is really too sick to live in her condo independently now. I suggested that we sell her condo and add on her own quarters to my house and she HATED that idea. She said she would be too isolated (she has friends in her condo complex that check in on her everyday, get her mail, etc) and she is concerned about being exposed to all the illnesses my kids bring home from school. She has emphysema and every cold wears her down that much more. I'm a single mom and just able to cover my expenses but my brother makes good money and has no kids. What we have agreed on for now is that my brother is going to pay for a home health aid to come in from the health system that I work for because I can get us a discount. She SHOULD go to assisted living and she would probably enjoy it but it is very expensive ($3000/month). She gets $700/month from Social Security and pays $400 a month for prescriptions. I would rather that she would come here but she has always said that she didn't want to live with me for two reasons. She is worried about role reversal (being dependent on me) and she is worried that she will act like my mom too much (telling me how to raise my kids, etc). I think we'd work through those things but she seems pretty firm on it. It is inevitable that she will need nursing home care at some point and I live 2 blocks from one that is very good. It will be close enough that myself or my kids (hoping they're teens by then) can stop in every single day. Having to have these discussions and make these decisions is very stressful for everybody.
Dee
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