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One of the biggest factors in me wanting to work no matter what was NOT wanting to be dependent on someone else. There are no guarantees in this world and if you're just depending on HIM and his income, you are vulnerable. Divorce, disability or death could make you bankrupt in no time.
Another consideration for women in the U.S. is how much you've contributed to Social Security. My mom stayed home until I was in 4th grade or so. Then she went back to college. She earned her degree when I was 15 and started working then. By the time I was 23, she and my dad were divorced. By the time I was 28, she was disabled. She gets very little Social Security because she didn't work for very long and if you get divorced, you are not entitled to your ex-husbands benefits at all. If you do not get divorced, then you're ok, because you get to tap into his if he dies. Nobody enters marriage planning to get divorced, but the reality is that 1 of 2 marriages end in divorce and in many states, if your spouse wants a divorce, you will be divorced no matter how you feel about it.
I was lucky that my mom was able to be my primary child care provider the entire time that my children were infants.
Lastly, I think that either way, there are people who look down on you. SAHM's definitely make comments about moms who work and vice versa. I do have a SAHM friend who had to join a support group of other SAHMs to cope with the lack of outside stimulation. She also had to go to work when her husband decided to go to med school and she was suddenly on the phone with me saying "How do you get everything done????". There are pros and cons to both, but for me, more than anything, I'm not willing to risk being financially dependent on anybody, ever.
Dee
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