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being a bridesmaid is financial committment and if you can't make that committment just be honest and explain that to your friend.
also, i wouldn't neccesarily take it personally if you weren't a "first string bridesmaid." there are often a lot of family politics and logistical issues affecting bridesmaid selection. does the bride and groom have a lot of female relatives so she can't select all her friends initially. Lack of male relatives and/or friends sometimes makes a bride feel the neccesity to cut bridesmaids. Just keep things like that in mind.
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