[justamom]

It's a curse, but it's not limited to males. Example, "I think of her as a sister..."
First off-If she isn't a dear friend, don't do anything for a girl JUST because she asks! Too many users out there. "Help me move my furniture...................so I can go out tonight with my friends." NO!
"Help me move my furniture and we can order pizza." YES

I don't think it's all about being nice or not. I think it has more to do with your "stock value" so to speak.
Why were certain girls or guys popular in HS? We all know that several were not the most attractive ones, and heaven knows some of the people with the greatest personalities went without those party invites. These people who were physically beautiful or outrageously personable, never got on the popularity radar screen the same as the late bloomers or the socially inexperienced sat home on Sat. night.
People want what they can't have.
How many TV shows depict the "nerdy" guy or girl longing for the most popular person in school? EVERYone is in LUHV with them and only a FEW have a chance...supply and demand.
What made them so special? One of course was charisma. Elusive combination of self confidence, wit, personality and the ability to make others feel included.
Whoever possessed what was valued at the time became "popular." Sports-humor-partying-boobs-right clothes CAR, money on and on.
So now you're in college. What has changed? What can you offer? These are some of the leftover factors people use to gage your "value". No doubt, this is not mature.
All it takes is for ONE top tier person who is respected within a group to see you as desirable. Suddenly, it's like a light bulb! EVERYone sees you differently. (Of COURSE, there are always exceptions)
Some simple game rules-
Work your way to the object of your desire-enter the group through the back door. Mentally seduce one of the weaker members she will start talking about how "hot" you are and others will start taking a second look.
Create an aura of "value" around yourself.
Be unavailable at times-make her think you have LOTS of other women in your life.
Wait till she actually looks you in the eye before you allow her to think you notice her.
Have great guy stories to share so they will slap you on the back and hang out with you. This will bring MORE girls around.
BUT-if you don't want to play the game, look beyond the pack mentality and open yourself to finding the right person in an unexpected place. I will honestly say that being a nice guy usually translates into being an exceptional lover, husband and father. Not all women have figured this out!