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Old 12-31-2003, 03:30 PM
valkyrie valkyrie is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2001
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If you can't take time off from work to go visit Mexico before moving there, I think the smartest thing for you to do would be find a new job. It sounds like your bosses are assholes, and there is no reason for you to feel that you're in the position to move to a country you've never even visited because the boss of your restaurant job wouldn't let you take off work.

Seriously, that's a big deal. I have a friend who just got married to a guy she hadn't known very long (I'm not saying that's your situation). He's in the Navy stationed in Hawaii, and she moved from Illinois to be with him there, not knowing anyone but him. Now, that's not even another country and she knows the language, but it's been very difficult for her. She doesn't come out and say it, but I can tell that she is lonely because he works all the time, and it's hard for her to not be working. It's hard for her to connect with most of the other Navy wives. I think she and her husband have a good relationship, but I wouldn't want to be in that situation for anything -- in a faraway place and completely financially dependent upon someone else, with no friends or family. You say he's saved up money, but have you? Before moving to another country, I would want to have an "escape fund" if I needed it -- and I'm a very impulsive person.

I'm not saying that this would ever happen in a million years, but what if something went wrong while you were there? I always think of that when I get myself into a situation -- what if, for example, my fiance cheated on me or hit me? Believe me, I don't think that would ever happen in a million years, but nobody ever expects that. I need to know that no matter where I am, if things go bad in my relationship I can get the hell out. How would you get out if it became necessary?

In terms of moving into a house that you've not seen -- I really say don't do it. When my fiance and I just moved to Colorado out of the blue, we almost rented an apartment without coming to look at them first. Let me tell you, I'm so glad we didn't do that. Things that sounded good were awful, horrible places where I would be absolutely miserable. I can't stress enough that you really, REALLY should go visit first, no matter what you have to do to make that happen. Losing your job or taking on some debt to visit Mexico is absolutely nothing compared to being stuck there and miserable -- and I'm not saying you would be miserable, but you're going to be far better off if you educate yourself before going there.
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