If some women are like me, they didn't have a choice as to when their hair was first relaxed. My mom took me to the beauty shop when I was about 8 or 9 for my first perm. Before that, the hot comb was used to press my hair. (I can still hear the crackling as the comb went through my hair.) After a while, both my mom and I were tired of the hassle, so perming we went. The jheri curl was popular at this time, but my mom said no. (Thank goodness! )
When I got to high school and started playing sports, I wore box braids which damaged my hair. It recovered, but then I went to crochet (sp?) braids, which were okay. Now I just wear my hair pulled back.

Now, on the identity thing I don't know. I mean sistas are wearing green, blue, and gray contacts, and blonde hair (I mean platinum). I had golden highlights, but that damaged my hair, so never again. I have been told that I would look good with light brown or green contacts, but that doesn't appeal to me either. My thinking is if God wanted me to have green eyes, He would have given them to me. I have used bleaching cream and cocoa butter, but it's to lighten dark scars from acne, chicken pox from back in the day, or from a scrape. I don't use it to make myself lighter.
I'm somewhat in between on skin tone, but closer to the lighter end of the spectrum. I can rememeber my older relatives telling me to come in out of the sun when I was a kid. Not to avoid cancer, but to avoid getting darker.
People still have this mentality that black is bad or ugly and light is desireable or pretty. I feel it boils down to what the bruh said, it's the reason behind your look is what counts or the problem.

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Sisterhood, Scholarship, & Service
Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc.
"Intelligence is the Torch of Wisdom"

[This message has been edited by c&c1913 (edited August 22, 2000).]