[AlphaFrog]

Ok, now that I've gotten some sleep maybe this will be more coherant.

Originally posted by G8Ralphaxi
The main thing I would say is this: Don't even THINK about doing this until you visit his hometown with him for an extended period of time (i.e., not just a weekend) and see how you would live. Walk around the town, imagine yourself there and see if it would work.

I wish I had this luxury, but it is simply impossible. Remember the asshole bosses...well, according to them we're not even allowed to be friends outside of work, so we've kind of been sneaking around for awhile now...(although they own the apartment building where we both live, which is above the restaraunt wee work at, so they must know we at least see eachother outside of work.) Anyway....the restaraunt functions in a tight manner....I had to pull lots of strings to be able to visit my parents next week for a week, and him leaving work for more then about 2 days is impossible. We only have 6 waitresses and 4 cooks to run 5am-8pm Mon-Sun (yes, there are some illegal operations going on.).

Will you live on your own? Where? How will you pay for a house? Or will you live with his mother? If not with her, then nearby? It's a lot of pressure on any new bride to live so close to the in-laws, not to mention being in a new country.

He already has a house there that he bought from his uncle. And I've never met his mother or father, but I really like those of the family I have met (his 2 cousins and 2 brothers).

What will he do to financially support you, since you probably won't be working? Will that be sufficient to keep you happy? I will admit that I am a spoiled American, and I like it. I don't want to give up my pretty car, and nice clothes and big apartment. I worked my butt off in law school to afford these things. I know the stereotype of Mexicans and Latin Americans as dirt poor isn't true, but the standard of living is very different.

He has saved up quite a bit of money being here in the USA. And he says it's not common for married women to work, but if I wanted to to have spending money, it would be ok. And about the community...I've heard many things about Veracruz and I'm not sure what to believe...I've heard some say it's dirt poor and others say it's fine....but everyone says it's beautiful, right on the beach.

What are your plans for a family? It's my understanding that birth control is harder to obtain in Mexico. Do you mind having a large family?

I wouldn't mind a big family (I'm an only child, and I missed not having brothers and sisters), but he's got 11 brothers and sisters and he decided that he only wants 2-3 kids (which is compleatly fine with me). With the internet, it should be possible for me to order birth control online, and I believe the reason it's hard to get is because Mexico is a strongly Catholic country.

Will you be happy not working? I might get bored. This is going to sound bad, but do you have "domestic" skills - i.e., can you handle cooking, cleaning, running a household? (I'm sorry if that sounds rude, but I know a lot of college students, heck even 30 year olds, that have trouble with this)

I have already decided that if I don't work, I'd like to do voulenteer work. My major in college is Music Therapy and I love it. (the only reason I'm switching is because of the politics and bullsh!t of the music dept.). And I would love to do Music Therapy voulenteer work at a hospital or something like that. As for my domestic skills...I just moved out compleatly on my own and am learning. I've learned that I'm a pretty decent cook. As for other domestic skills...I can clean and things like that, but right now, I'm so busy with work and school, I don't get around to it as often as I'd like. If I don't have to worry about working, I'll be fine.

I am not as worried about the language issue. When you are immersed in the language like you would be, it becomes easier. But I would definitely start taking some classes now - if not at your college, then night classes. I took an adult education Italian course once - it was a lot of fun, and pretty cheap.

I'm taking Elementary Spanish II, which is supposed to be for those who've had Elem Span I, or 1 year in highschool (I took French, stupid me), but Elem Span I was full, and I think I have enough practical training to surpass 1 year in highschool.

I wish you the best of luck. It must be so hard to love someone but have to change your whole life around to be with them.

Thanks for the advice and not just telling me I'm stupid for even thinking of this! It means alot, and you've given me more to consiter.