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It is simply too complex to determine. Here are two real life stories of people I know and in both situations, someone could argue at some point that they shouldn't have had children OR that they were fine to have children, but things changed...
Situation #1: 21 year old college student at Michigan State gets pregnant by long time boyfriend. They quit school, get married, but after 6 months, he can't handle the pressure and disappears. She goes on ADC, goes to a technical school and obtains some skills and a good job and continues to raise the daughter with some financial help from her mother at times like Christmas. She essentially pulls herself out of the worst of the situation. She's now 34 or 35 with her 13/14 year old daughter. She's been on welfare once or twice when laid off, but always gets a new job and goes back off of it. Is she a "welfare" mom who shouldn't have more kids if she meets someone special and gets married again?
Situation #2: Perfect couple, happily married, two kids. very stable financially. Mom stays home and raises the kids, Dad is a very successful car salesman until the economy goes bad in California in the early to mid 90's. House is sold for less than they owed on it, they move back to Michigan and he tries to find work. He becomes a truck driver and gets a job as a car hauler. Falls off the top of his car hauler one day at work, has a closed head injury which affects his emotional stability. He is totally off the deep end and can't work. Workman's Comp makes a settlement which will pay off the house, but now Mom must go back to work. Can't leave the kids with dad during the day because he's so mentally unstable so has to pay day care. She divorces him as he's becoming abusive. She is now on welfare. She tries to work odd jobs under the table to get enough cash to live on and keep her kids in a decent school, etc. She ends up meeting a great guy and re-marries and things are great for her again. He takes care of her kids as he would his own and they've had another child together.
The reality is.. things change, situations change. Someone who is totally fit to be a parent in all ways may lose it all and someone who seems unfit might turn themselves around with the responsibility of a child. The permanency of sterilization combined with the changes that can occur in people's lives makes it impossible to determine who should or shouldn't have kids. On the same note, I'm a Democrat who doesn't think we should punish the kids for the situation they were born into. I do think that aid should be in forms that will directly help the kids to deter someone who is having more and more kids to get the money from the govt. Provide day care, food, heat and electricity rather than the cash. I'm also very big on "workfare" if the person is capable of working (ie. not disabled).
Dee
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