So I'm Christmas shopping tonight, and normally when I'm at the mall, when I have to use the bathroom I don't use the busy mall bathrooms because they're just plain NASTAY. I try to go in "nice" places like Macy's or Neimans or whatever.

So I go to Neiman Marcus to go take a leak. Someone runs into the bathroom and proceeds to do a number 2 and I'm like holy isht. It wasn't one of those discreet unloadings either. It was loud and proud and this person obviously had something bad to eat for dinner.

Let me tell you, it's hard to keep quiet and not laugh when an explosion comparable to that of Mt. St. Helens is going on in the stall next to you...in Neiman-freaking-Marcus no doubt. I thought I was going to throw up.

I finished my business, washed my hands, and ran out of that bathroom because I wanted to spare that person the humiliation of having to look me in the face.