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Some comments from a guy on the subject:
Black tie for us can be paired with a ladies cocktail dress, but if the invitation says "Ball" then this is an evening formal. It does require long dress for you all and really should require White Tie for us. According to the temple dragons, er, senior ladies in my family, tea length is for an afternoon "the' dansant" but cannot be Black tie as it is too early in the afternoon. When my sister did her season in New Orleans she was presented by Le Debut des Jeunnes Filles de la Nouvelle Orleans, The Debutante Club, Bachellors Club, and Mid-Winter Cotillion. All required full evening dress long for the ladies and white tie and tails for us, with the exception of Le Debut which required White Linnen Suits for the men (August in New Orleans is HOT). She was presented as a Court Maid at four Carnival Balls and was Queen of the one of which our mother and our grandmother were Queen as well. All of this called for long evening dress for the ladies and white tie for us. Black tie was less used and generally to receptions given at the Country Club or the Orleans Club, and sometimes the Yacht Club or the Lawn Tennis Club where the family presents the daughter being introduced as an individual honoree. Growing up in St Louis, where Sis also did her season, allbeit a rather less elaborate and structured season, the rules were just about the same but Black tie was more used and you could get away with renting White tie a couple of times a year. In New Orleans my cousins told me it was standard for a guy to get a full tail coat rig as one of his high school graduation presents (if he didn't already own one) because he would have plenty of opportunities to use it throughout college and thereafter. They still have Tea Dances during the season, but for us its going to be white linnen suit, seersucker or cord suit, or blazer and white trousers. Black tie can't be worn before six PM and usually later. White tie should not be worn until after 8 PM.
Any ladies from New Orleans please join in and make sure I have this right but I believe the traditional formula for a 'successful' debut is presentation by at least one but preferably two or more of the major cotillions, a Tea for ladies at the Orleans Club, a family presentation as described above, as many luncheons, cocktail parties, and theme parties honoring the debutante as friends will throw for her, and preferably at least three Carnival honors (Queen or Maid at a Carnival Ball held from Twelvth Night to Mardi Gras) but usually not more than five honors. This limit is occasionally broken but seems a bit over the top.
My sister loved every minute of it, my brother and I had a great time, and the guys at Tulane, Loyola, and LSU turn out in droves. By the way, one thing the guys check out on each other is whether you have a pre-tied bow tie or whether you tie it yourself. Pre tied is gross and begs for a put down.
OK, enough from the guy's perspective.
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